Perhaps I am controlling. In fact someday’s I am. But if you were in my position and have been hurt as badly as you have hurt me, you would be too. Instead of me throwing it in your face I simply get controlling of the temptation you might find again to hurt me once again. Although you swear you won’t you have already broken that promise before. So perhaps I am controlling but you have inflicted massive pain on my heart that will always linger, and leaving my heart restless with anxiety for the next heart break.

Seriously, why am I with you? You put yourself first and I put you first. Something is clearly wrong with that picture and I am slowly considering my option after so much crap. I really doubt that I will make you first on my list anymore. Let’s see how you feel! A shity day followed my a extremely horrible night. So thank you, you succeeded in making me, almost cutting, and almost running away. You can add that to your list of accomplishments for this year! So instead of giving up dr.pepper for lent I am giving you up for lent, because at this moment it sounds fantastic and better then how things have been going!

At the beginning we were inseparable. Always together always happy. We had are ups and down at a three months but still persisted forward together with a smile on our face. Summer was the best for us nearly living together and seeing each other everyday. School started up and things were still great. We hit a bump in the road during December because I neglected in getting you a birthday presant and then again Christmas eve, but yet again we faced it together and made it through. Our nine months came around and everything took a turn for the worse. My worst fear became my living nightmare and I was left with a heart in pieces. Just as the pieces were being fixed another issue arose but luckly was a false alarm. As weeks went on I lost my job and my perfect world all my happiness I realized was crashing down on me. Everything that was stable in my life now had a fault in it, and I had no one to lean on. A month has gone by and our relationship seems to be spiraling downward. I hoped and thought eveything would get better go back to how it was. Always together, completely inseparable. But life seems to have gotten in the way. We seems to fight everyday, I seem to be crying almost everyday, and we never are together any more, which makes me fear that perhaps our relationship is coming to a fork in the road. I pray its just a mountain to climb, but the way I’ve been feeling and how things are going, I fear my own fear may just become my reality. Where has our love gone? Did we loose it along the way? Why is it that I always feel I care to much and you don’t care enough? Why is it that I get jealous when you have time for friends and not for me? Why is it that tears always fall down my face because of how sad, lonely and broken I am? And why does it feel like I burnt all my bridges for this relationship everything that I cared for while you still have your remaining? Somrdays I wonder if it would be better if we were apart? You would have your freedom and I would be alone… If there was a star u could wish upon, a quarter I could toss into a lucky fountain, or a Genie to get a wish from I would wish to have things go back to just you and I, inseparable, always together, always.